Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17
This is the life verse of the fifth rehab that I attended for heroin addiction. This was not your usual 12 step rehab where you have a team of doctors and psychologist assigned to you, explaining to you that you have a “disease” and you are basically a good person. This place is different, and really quite simple in its approach to healing; we studied scripture and memorized scripture, prayed and had planned activities with Christian volunteers from the community. Oh yea, and we cut grass with a push mower!! A lot of grass!! Very Therapeutic. And by studying God’s word and having the counsel of mature Godly women I came to the conclusion that we are not basically “good people” ,we are sinners in desperate need of a savior.“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. 1 Timothy 1:15,16. How can I ask forgiveness and repent if I don’t believe truth about myself and that is that I am a sinner in violation of God’s law.
I am from a law abiding, fairly normal ,middle class family. I was pretty wild in high school and very insecure. I went on to college for a year and then started working but the whole time I am “partying” and abusing drugs, I kept pushing the envelope until about 8 years later of doing different drugs I am finally hooked on heroin and pain pills. Now what. Throughout the whole ordeal my family never stopped praying for me and I believe to this day that is why I am alive to write this. The power of prayer!! They never stopped sharing the things of God with me even though I would have none of it. I thought it was archaic and a killjoy. How arrogant I was.
The events that lead to a decision to go to Grace Home were sad and scary. I did drugs, sold drugs, they were my life and they were killing me. If I didn’t get high every morning, I was physically sick. I was a thief and a liar, truth rarely came out of my mouth and I was an idolater. Drugs were my god. All of the people that I associated with were on the wrong side of the law and just as lost as I was. I had ended up in jail a couple of different times, and went to the emergency room twice from overdosing. I was fired from multiple jobs, including a flight attendant job at Delta. I missed family functions all the time and was never on time anywhere. I was estranged from my family and they were at end of their rope and I was slowly killing my father. (I was a complete daddy’s girl growing up on the farm.) Nothing was working, I was so physically addicted that quitting seemed impossible. The withdrawals of heroin are out of this world. Satan was definitely having his way with me and his ultimate goal was to destroy me. “The thief comes only to steal kill and destroy” John 10:10 The scary part was that I was going to die without a savior!!! But Jesus kept perusing me in different ways and in an effort to stay out of jail I ended up in this small Christian rehab for women in South Carolina and things slowly began to change. My thinking for one. I was beginning to have hope again after some colossal failing attempts at sobriety. Even though I didn’t always have the deepest understanding of everything I was reading or memorizing or studying, it is a promise from God, the Word does not return void. Isaiah 55:11 and Hebrews 4:12. God is restoring what the locust took. Now I try to let God have his way with me. My family relationships are restored. I have 2 older sisters that are my BFFs. My parents and I have never been better. I enjoy my family!!! My views of the world and the way it works are so different now. I now have moral absolutes and I’m not just constantly making up MY own worldview of what’s right and wrong as I go along in life. There is a peace that surpasses all understanding (Phil 4:7) to wake up each day and have a loving Father in heaven that is in control of my life and this world. God is at the head of ALL things. There are still struggles and there will be for all of us in this sinful fallen world. Life can still be messy, RIGHT!! The question is what is our response going to be??
I am 39 years old and I have been redeemed for about 7 years. I have a small furniture business where I make upholstered headboards for people. It’s a good little gig for now and I try to just trust God with my future and always have an eternal perspective of the world and be in the moment of what I am doing and who I am having interaction with. The best thing that happened to me thru all this is that I now have a savior and I can face God on judgment day and I am clothed in the righteousness of Christ. He loves us so much, that he saved a wretch like me. Now that is amazing grace!!!!!!!!!!
“Morality may keep us out of jail but it takes the blood of Christ to keep us out of hell” Spurgeon
“When we realize who God is and we realize who we are there is only room for humility.”